WHEN ON RIDE, PLEASE BE SURE NOT TO POP A THING

I am a 26 year old, outspoken, extrovert, educated, a professional, cultured, and a virgin.  I am a virgin.  How many 26 year old single women in Chicago can say that?  Not very many.  I like to call myself "moral" because of it, but it really has nothing to do with morals anymore.  It is all personal.  It was religion, and now it is not.

Being an Arab and Muslim is pretty hard nowadays.  I used to have fear instilled in me every day from my family.  Don't do this because fury fires will burn your vagina off, or something crazy like that will be told to me if I were to do something close to THINKING about sex.  However, it is everywhere.  Welcome to my world of horny cornucopia folks.  Nothing but people injecting body parts into one another like heroin and not being part of the fun! BOOOO!

So, you may ask yourself, why are you 26 and a virgin?  Well, again, I'm Muslim.  It was instilled in my head that boys and sex are wrong.  Then I grew up and found that it really isn't that bad.  No, foreplay didn't give me that sense of thought.  It was that the Arab society made everything seem so much worse than it already was.  It became a religious standpoint when I was a teenager.  Walking in high school, I would see pregnant teenagers and think to myself, "Wow, I'm not foolish like these girls because I'm good to God."  After junior year, I sort of lost faith.  It then became an issue of finding "The One".

The One is going to take to me to far away lands with flowers and cookies and kites and kiss me here and there and love me forever and ever. The One is going to be exactly what his name is, The One for me.  The One is going to have my heart and soul.  He is going to have every piece of me, including yes, my virginity.  Well, you will learn that after This One, I realized that The One may not exist, but it doesn't hurt finding him.  God really is not the reason anymore, nor is it the ridiculous tightly bound Arab culture in Chicago. It is the fear of me giving my grenadine to a dude that will no longer be in my life and the endless regret I will have thereafter.  Yes, I called my virginity grenadine.  I also have a sense of humor. 

My goal with this blog and my life is to document a virgin's trek through the dating world, and how far I can get without screwing or getting screwed.  Basically, I want to show people that virgins have feelings, too.  Sorry I won't lay down with you, but you can only imagine what my mind is thinking.  Creamsicles.  Yes, creamy creamsicles.  It exists in my head.  I am a pervert. A virgin pervert.


The welcome mat is currently laid on the floor for you.  It is, by far, the only thing that gets more action then me.  Considering that it is on its back 24 hours a day.  So come on in and take a ride, just be sure not to pop anything on the way in.  Stupid mat, I'm jealous of you. Lucky mat.